Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Psalm 127:4
This is one of my favorite verses for this season of life. As a mom of boys (MOB) it is the sweetest honor and the greatest challenge to raise good men and strong arrows. The kind of men that will treat women well, cherish their friendships, speak life into situations, and be diplomatic, as well as strong, in their convictions. The kind of men a father would want his daughter to date and marry. I married one of those men, and my dad is simply one the best!
There is so much we can worry about day to day for all our kids, but establishing their foundation is the one thing we need to focus on. Both of my boys are kind, compassionate, and clever, however they are occasionally prone to whining, brawling, and driving me nuts! That said, at the end of each day I tell them I love them as we cuddle in bed and remind them that we will start again fresh the next day. There is grace in ending even the most miserable days with that routine. It also establishes in their hearts that they are known and loved by us and the one that created them. Their worth is not in what their peers think, how well they did in school, or their successes and failures throughout life.
Along with a firm foundation of love, it is our job to help them figure out who they are as people. One tool that we are using to help us is the concept of the 5 Love Languages. Wouldn’t it be great to affirm your child in they way the feel loved the most? For example, our oldest receives love through physical touch and words of affirmation, so if we hug him and tell him we are proud of how he reacted to a situation it is a like a 1-2 punch of encouragement!
When he was little he would toddle around decapitating dandelions and bringing them to me saying, “a lion flower for you” and then give me a cuddle. Somehow inside him, he innately knew he should bring the girl he loved a beautiful flower. My husband is a great example of thoughtfulness and on occasion will buy flowers, but not often enough for a tiny boy to be able to pick up on. Looking back on it, we can see his giving love language is gift giving and physical touch.
Once he learned not to pick the flowers, since they are for everyone to appreciate, he started to point them out to me, “Mom look!” He is even keen to go photograph them with me, which he has learned makes my heart happy.
These days my three year old picks the blossoms of weeds for me and demands I put them in my hair. All at once it makes me laugh, feel loved, and reminisce about the sweet “lion flowers” of years past. That said, he is altogether different. Words of affirmation is his giving and receiving love language, he says, “you’re so beautiful Mom”, and “I’m a cool kid.” ha! The first time he did it I was stunned and literally laughed out loud!
I don’t ever want them to lose those sweet, innocent, and thoughtful habits so I work hard to reaffirm and praise them. These are moments that make all of the mess worth it. Like a light at the end of the tunnel, I can image each of them telling their wife she is beautiful and bringing her flowers.
Have you figured out your child’s love language? If you have never read about the 5 love languages I encourage you to look into the concept, it could be a game changer in your family’s life!
You can download the FREE Raising Arrows printable here.
lots of love warrior,