A little ‘no’ can go a long way…

pumpkin - november.jpg

Truth be told, the art of saying “No” to demands outside my family is stretching me. As Lindy-Ann put in her NO-vember post on Tuesday, I am a “yes friend.” I would say “yes” so often I would triple book myself, and at times our family, which did not go well with my “no” husband, {love you babe and i’m sorry!}

It just feels so negative to say “no” but I am learning that when I say “no” to one thing I am actually saying “yes” to something else. Two days into the NO-vember challenge and I’m definitely trying to be intentional about the yeses I dole out. One such yes is to taking care of myself and working out with Vienna {GULP!}

So far, the biggest “no” I have decided to lovingly, but firmly, say has been to not co-chair the Halloween Spooktacular next year. This past weekend I had the pleasure of seeing my vision for this huge event come to life with the help of some fantastic volunteers. My event co-chair (aka chaos co-coordinator), our decorations chair, and I had been formulating the plan and vision for the 2017 Halloween Spooktacular since the week after the 2016 one, and it turned out to be an incredible success. That said, next year we all agreed it is time to pass the baton and spend 2018 experiencing the event with our families. Therefore, in saying “no” to a third round, we are saying “yes” to celebrating and experiencing it with our families, and that is a good thing.

IACW - co chairs

Hear my heart on this. I’m not saying I won’t be volunteering anymore (it’s not in my nature to sit on the sidelines), or that it is more important for me to enjoy someone else’s hard work. What I am saying is that I was super involved for two years and now it is time to step back just a little and let my family have that much more of me. It’s all about that elusive balance we are all aiming for, right?

That is truly the heart of the NO-vember challenge for me. To take a moment to reevaluate my priorities, give myself the headspace to ponder my calling, and give more of myself to my family.

IACW - DG fam

If you are a “yes friend” I encourage you to thank your buddies that remind you to say no, we all need them! Thank you Lindy-Ann for always being that person to encourage and challenge me to be better and put my family higher on my to-do list.

I miss your face!

IACW_KDGLA

H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y   W E E K   L I N D Y – A N N ! 

May your NO-vember be peaceful and refreshing! Let us know how you are doing and any ways we can encourage you.

Cheers,
kdg

PS – forgive the iPhone photos, my camera was on the back burner at the event!

Embracing NO-vember.

November

My 7yr old put it perfectly, “it’s like trying to draw a straight line with a ruler yet you keep going all wonky”. Brilliant! It is the most spot on explanation for how I try to calm things down, yet never seem to succeed.

For the past 6 weeks or so my life has been this wonky line. I’ve tried in vain to pull it straight, but without much success. While off loading to my friend Kerry, she kindly reminded me of the book I read, Grace not Perfection, and how important it is to actively allocate down time. She presented me with a brilliant strategy.

NO-vember!

What if we took one month out of 12 where we reserve the right to say ‘No’ without guilt or explanation? (While I recognise that some people are lucky enough to live their lives like this permanently, Katie and I are not one of those lucky ones). If something falls within this month that does not ‘feed’ us as a family or individually, then it’s ok to say no. For one month, to not be obligated or coerced into something that eats away at precious family time. Our family time is really precious and yet it is something that we usually compromise on first. Why is that? We are always commenting on how quickly our kids are growing up and how quickly time is passing us by, yet we seem to be so willing to give it away at the same time. I’m going to try this crazy plan and I dedicate this post to my dear Katie who desperately needs a NO-vember in her life, as well. My ‘Yes’ friend needs to take heart and find the rest that can come from a simple and uncomplicated ‘No’ (or ‘No thank you’ if it makes you feel better).

If you have a ‘Yes’ friend, or are a ‘Yes’ person then I challenge you to give this NO-vember thing a try. Please share this with your ‘Yes’ friends and encourage them to get on board. If you find yourself on the receiving end of my ‘No’, then please don’t take offence, it’s not personal, it’s simply me trying to regroup myself and my family and restore a little energy to my soul so that I can be a ‘Yes’ person for the rest of the year.

I want to leave you with a little TedTalk that my other friend Kirrily shared with me. One of the reasons we are even more drained of time in today‚Äôs society is the fact that our screens and devices no longer have ‘off’ cues. This turns our news feeds into complete time sponges. If you take nothing away from this post this week, I challenge you to at least watch this 9 minute clip. It will, at the very least, encourage parameters and help you set those all important screen boundaries which will pull your eyes off your device and help you look at the world around you with a little more detail and love.

As we say goodbye to October, I wish everyone a happy No-vember!

Cheers,

la